Augustine Poem

(I wrote this poem while reading Augustine’s ‘Confessions’ – it is part reflection on his writings, part response to how I felt God move in me while reading the text. ‘Confessions’ is well worth the read if you are so inclined.)...

Partnership in marriages – Part 4.3

Respond: Partnering for growth There are two vital and complementary elements to this process. They are described by the words formation and information. Information This requires you, as a mentor, to teach something to the couple/individual. This teaching happens in...

Partnership in marriages – Part 4.2

Reflect: Checking assumptions Assumptions about people’s situation, character or challenges can cause real harm if not true. When we listen to people speak of their own experiences, our default is often to filter them through our own experiences, self-knowledge and...

Partnership in marriages – Part 4.1

Part 4 covers a simple method to use to engage with a couple/individual developmentally. The primary goal is always to help the couple restore loving connection with each other. It is NOT the mentor’s responsibility to solve the couple’s problems for them, but to be...

Compassion Liturgy

I came across this beautiful, yet challenging, excerpt from a compassion liturgy while leading worship at St Michael’s Church in Bryanston last month. The wording is quite poignant as it describes many of the hurts of this world juxtaposed alongside Jesus’ expansive...

August Newsletter 2018

Seasons This week Inez and I have noticed the awakening of nature around us as the seasons shift from winter into spring. We’ve both commented that we’re ready for winter to end and summer to start. It has led me to reflect on the shifting seasons we experience in...

Partnership in marriages – Part 1

This blog series comes as a result of a needs analysis conversation I had towards the beginning of the year with a local church leader. During this conversation the theme of the importance of healthy marriages was raised. This is a focal area for the leadership of...

Partnership in marriages – Part 3.1

Reflective listening Reflective listening is a tool used to promote connection between people. It’s presupposition is that two people in relationship would so value the connection they have with each other that they would actively seek to strengthen it. The corollary...

Partnership in marriages – Part 3.2

Negotiating change / Communicating needs  There are three key steps to negotiating change or communicating needs with a partner. These two concepts are distinct, yet linked closely enough that the three steps provide a sufficient basis for each. These steps are also...

Partnership in marriages – Part 2

The Mentoring Relationship  – Building a Therapeutic Alliance – Key to any kind of developmental work with people is something, from a therapeutic context, called the therapeutic alliance. The word ‘alliance’ simply means a partnership. This is the process...